Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
