you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
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We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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