Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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