you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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