I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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