If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
high people should be assigned attendants
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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