if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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