Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
