I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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