I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
