I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
