I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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