mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize