If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Mom said you looked used
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
