UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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