cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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