You really coming over, don't trick.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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