he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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