It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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