Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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