I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
