What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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