i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
