Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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