would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Mom said you looked used
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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