Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
