we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
