Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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