She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
