he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I smell like Dick and happiness
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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