I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
