we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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