Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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