These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
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truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
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Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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