what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
