I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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