Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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