there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
