its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
