How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home