Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the condom got lost in my hair
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it