Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business. http://tfl.nu/ppsa
  Replies (34) Good night (5179) Bad night (1467)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays? http://tfl.nu/wnqx
  Replies (24) Good night (9228) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before http://tfl.nu/b07w
  Replies (12) Good night (5067) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties. http://tfl.nu/xw7t
  Replies (9) Good night (4824) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week. http://tfl.nu/re6m
  Replies (15) Good night (3692) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete. http://tfl.nu/q4l5
  Replies (19) Good night (4676) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake. http://tfl.nu/cs4d
  Replies (7) Good night (3677) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line. http://tfl.nu/s6mt
  Replies (27) Good night (2794) Bad night (1800)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine http://tfl.nu/3ins
  Replies (4) Good night (1734) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry http://tfl.nu/4kpv
  Replies (5) Good night (1364) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): He played pinball with my ovaries. He won. http://tfl.nu/otpy
  Replies (8) Good night (1525) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  So how was your night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob. (703): So how was your night? http://tfl.nu/0nrk
  Replies (4) Good night (1685) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows. http://tfl.nu/kvi1
  Replies (2) Good night (1720) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday http://tfl.nu/gokz
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate. http://tfl.nu/w2uc
  Replies (1) Good night (121) Bad night (304)

Randomize