OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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