Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
