do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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