dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!