Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She is in my trunk

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  (630): She is in my trunk http://tfl.nu/i8uz
  Replies (7) Good night (1925) Bad night (1022)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

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  (918): After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again. http://tfl.nu/cy0p
  Replies (141) Good night (701) Bad night (6278)
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  (925): View more from California

  Wait, how do girls masturbate?

  (1-925): View more from California

  I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

  (925): View more from California

  ..how does it fit?

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  (925): Wait, how do girls masturbate? (1-925): I dunno we use shower heads I guess. (925): ..how does it fit? http://tfl.nu/ktf5
  Replies (85) Good night (2229) Bad night (5940)
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  (718): View more from New York

  "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

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  (718): "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut. http://tfl.nu/b4vo
  Replies (95) Good night (6078) Bad night (1272)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.

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  (505): well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop. http://tfl.nu/fta9
  Replies (14) Good night (5651) Bad night (843)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions

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  (778): I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions http://tfl.nu/u0tu
  Replies (27) Good night (1642) Bad night (3793)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.

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  (630): He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins. http://tfl.nu/5ao1
  Replies (23) Good night (11883) Bad night (1181)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds

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  (306): He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ogvx
  Replies (6) Good night (2444) Bad night (1100)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.

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  (813): she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by. http://tfl.nu/df84
  Replies (5) Good night (1448) Bad night (1160)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night

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  (608): Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/2p0f
  Replies (1) Good night (1466) Bad night (763)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in

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  (814): currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight (814): I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in http://tfl.nu/2u0u
  Replies (17) Good night (887) Bad night (1692)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma

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  (512): I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma http://tfl.nu/4ovd
  Replies (12) Good night (1161) Bad night (1781)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.

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  (607): I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend. http://tfl.nu/q6a0
  Replies (6) Good night (466) Bad night (898)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.

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  (518): I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive. http://tfl.nu/rul5
  Replies (7) Good night (2247) Bad night (741)
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  (925): View more from California

  I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.

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  (925): I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora. http://tfl.nu/8spa
  Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (435)

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