i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
