K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...