So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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