i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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