We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
