Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
