I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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