would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's the barista slut.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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