i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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