but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
