You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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