I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
