apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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