I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Mom said you looked used
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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