well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
