In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i drank out of a bidet.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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