they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
