I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
