my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
