You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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