ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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