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I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
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