And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
