Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you