After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
